Real Mums

Many young toddlers do not like the texture of meat and take longer than other toddlers to begin enjoying it.

If your son is eating fish, eggs, ground or crushed nuts, and pulses such as dahl, hummus, lentils and baked beans then he is getting enough of the nutrients that meat would otherwise provide.

To encourage him to enjoy meat, begin by offering it to him in very soft textures that are easy to chew, such as sausages, frankfurters, and burgers made from lean mince meat. The next meat texture to offer would be cold meat such as ham and other cold sliced meats that are cut into very small pieces. You could then move on to chicken and very soft meat that has been cooked for a long time such as that in casseroles and stews. The last texture that he will accept would probably be meat that needs a good chew, such as chops and steaks.

I wonder how old this little boy is. Has he always been fussy or is he just now coming in to the ‘neophobic’ stage? This tends to peak at about 20 months, and can lead to refusal of new foods as well as some foods that were eaten before. Children grow out of the neophobic age by about five years of age.

In the meantime, the best methods when trying to get him to eat new foods are those based on exposure and imitation; not ‘tough love’. Give him the foods he likes, to keep his energy intake up and his growth on course. Try extending the range of foods that he’ll eat from those that he already enjoys; if he eats a salmon fish finger try a cod fish finger, and if he likes crackers try other foods with a similar texture. It’ll be easier for him to move on where the new food is visually similar to something he already eats.

Don’t hide or disguise food, or put new foods on the plate next to foods he already likes. Keep other new foods in sight on the table and eat them in front of him. If he looks interested, ask him if he wants to try the food but never go beyond a gentle suggestion. Keep getting him to help in the kitchen, but don’t expect this to work miracles; it will just keep him desensitised to the smell and sight of foods he hasn’t yet tried.

Many children go through a fussy phase in the toddler years, some children remain very fussy. Most of them develop out of the phase as they get older and seem not to have been harmed by their odd food habits.

Your toddler’s total fluid intake comes from both her drinks and the water content in her food. Some toddlers eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, soups, jelly, yogurt and foods in sauces and get a lot of fluid from those foods.

However, it is important that toddlers learn to like water as a drink, so do keep offering it. Also drink water yourself; your toddler will eventually begin to drink it if you do so and show her that you like it.

There is no need to encourage drinks of fruit juice, as they are not necessary and because of their high sugar content they can contribute to dental cavities when drunk frequently.

11-12ozs of milk is adequate, so you do not need to try and increase her milk intake.

Her kidneys can cope well with only small amounts of fluid but you could increase her fluid intake in food by offering jelly with fruit as a second course or ice lollies made from frozen diluted fruit juice.

Dear Fiona

Many mothers feel uncertain about the amount of milk their toddlers should have.

From the age of one, toddlers need less milk than they did in their first year of life. They only need about three drinks of 120mls (4oz) per day, but less if they are also having yogurt and cheese. More than 12 oz milk/day and you risk suppressing a toddler’s appetite and they won’t eat as much as they need of other foods. This can sometimes lead to a lack of iron – causing iron deficiency anaemia.

There is no problem with your daughter having all her milk at once but having about 16oz is overall too much milk especially if she is eating yogurt and cheese during the day.

It sounds like this bottle of milk is now very much part of her bedtime routine. You may have to think about changing that whole routine so that eventually it does not involve a bottle of milk at all. In the short term giving her something to eat and offering less milk may be one way to reduce her milk intake. It may be fun for your daughter to learn to use a straw for her milk drinks, making it easier for you to reduce the amount of milk you give her in the bottle.

You should brush her teeth after any food and milk before putting her down to sleep at night.

Older toddlers sometimes find it difficult to give up their bottles to change to milk drinks from a cup. It is easier for parents and the child to make this change when they are younger. Once their bottle has become a form of comfort for them, older toddlers can become anxious about making that change.

It is useful to think about what is happening at the time when your daughter is having her bottle – if it is a relaxing, good quality ‘calm time’ you may be able to help her to enjoy this with a different interaction, without the bottle; such as story or gentle massage time, that helps her to feel equally relaxed and ready for her sleep. Toddlers respond well to rewards at this age, and you may be able to help her to make the transition from falling asleep with a bottle to falling asleep without it, through a star chart or a similar reward system.

Dear Janice,

Thanks for contacting us. The good news is that your daughter’s fondness for olives is very positive. Like all other fruit and vegetables, olives can be included in healthy, balanced diet. Step 3 of the Ten Steps for Healthy Toddlers recommends offering your toddler fruit and vegetables at each meal and some snacks.

Olives, like other fruit, count towards five a day. But as olives are preserved with salt you should limit them to about 10 when you offer them.

The Infant & Toddler Forum

You should start tooth brushing as soon as your child's first teeth come through. Brushing teeth should be part of your daily routine, to establish healthy future lifestyle habits. You should brush their teeth twice a day – once before bedtime and once at another time – but not before a meal if possible. Your child should go to bed straight after having his or her teeth brushed. Drinks or food should be avoided, apart from water.

You should use a small (child-size), dry toothbrush with soft bristles. You should replace the toothbrush every three months, or sooner if the bristles splay. You can buy toothpaste for toddlers. Check the label to make sure it contains fluoride. When brushing, use:

• a smear of paste containing 1000 ppm of fluoride up to the age of three
• a pea sized amount of 1350-1500 ppm or fluoride paste over the age of three

One of the easiest ways to brush your toddler's teeth is from behind. Comfortable and safe positions for your child when you do this are sitting on your knee, sitting on a changing mat, in a baby chair or high chair, or sitting in a pram or buggy. Don't discourage your child if he or she wants to brush their own teeth, but you should always follow this up brushing as well, just to make sure that they are clean. Don't let your child run around with a toothbrush in his or her mouth – if could be dangerous if he or she falls over.

As more teeth come through, it is important to develop a system of cleaning them that ensures all surfaces are brushed thoroughly. You should supervise your child's brushing until at least seven years, and always tell them to ‘spit don't rinse' and not to swallow the toothpaste. Excessive rinsing removes the benefit of fluoride.

You should register your toddler with a dentist from the moment their teeth come through.